I've screwed up. And now I'm alone... really alone. More so than in years.
My girlfriend has left me as a result of my misguided attempts at help and advice turning to an annoyance and then a source of unhappiness. Because I'm such an awful person.
Even when I'm trying my hardest to help out and to make her happy... I can't help but to hurt her instead. What is wrong with me?
So I have nobody to turn to. With her gone, and after I drifted away from most of my friends over the past few months, I'm left with nothing. Just... hurt.
Why should I bother to even go on? I'm too much of a coward to ever hurt myself, but now I'm a failure, a monster and a waste of flesh. All there is for me in my life now is heartbreak and the looming exams which I have no hope of passing. Not even the games I use to pass the time in my pathetic life are bringing me any happiness anymore. I've had trouble finding reasons to get out of bed for a while... and with this...
Ugh... I just hate myself for ruining the only good thing I had in my life. She's been all that's kept me going for a long while.
And I feel so empty now...
='(
2008-04-07 @ 22:24