Apologies in advance for this being one big misersable rant and stuff.

So I'm still hugely, hugely upset over the loss of my girlfriend. More so now that any point after the first miserable night. Oh, and it was my uncle's funeral today (which I didn't attend for various reasons) and I feel horrible for being upset over my own problems on today of all days.

Really, I hate being alone, and it's killing me to think that in one single moment I've lost my girlfriend, best friend and only person I could comfortably talk to on the phone. To say she was the centre of my world would not be an exaggeration. And she's gone now.

In two days I'll be back in my uni room, and probably be a whole lot more upset for being surrounded by things she gave me or that remind me of her. Which is great when I also really need to concentrate on my exams (I had my first actual nightmare about them last night). The levels of stress are pushing me towards a meltdown, and I'm worried about nausea (and worse).

I called her today, partly from missing her, mostly because an estranged friend of hers contacted me asking how she was. And other than yelling at me, she called me a "nazi father figure". Ouch.
I may hate myself for driving her off like this, and be hurting badly for having lost her... but comparing me to a bunch of mass-murderers? That's hurtful.

=(